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The faces of modern motherhood

Meet the hip new breed of funky, feisty women joining forces to embrace motherhood in the most modern manner

Posted: 21 December 2012
by Catherine O'Dolan

Kyle Lonsdale
 4 of 6 

Kyle Lonsdale, 29, mother of Syd, two

Profession Part-time A&R assistant, sometime broadcaster.

Describe your pre-baby life? Easier, but unfulfilled.

And now? Busy, exhausting, happy.

How do you manage the work-life balance? I make a point divvying up my time, doing the same things on the same days. It's like ticking off a list. Which isn't to say it's easy…

What has been the biggest shock of motherhood? Right now, the sheer amount of energy required. Looking back, caring for Syd as a baby was simple. His needs were so easily met. Toddlers require a whole new world of exertion. 

How has your relationship changed with your partner? It sounds soppy, but I think the love we have for each other has become more profound since having Syd. And we hardly ever argue. Time is much better spent these days!

What are the biggest challenges? Giving myself over to another human being so completely. That sounds really negative, but there have definitely been times when I've found it really difficult not to be able to spend time on myself. I think the important thing in overcoming that was to remember that becoming a mother has obviously been a life-changing thing but it isn’t my defining role. I was, and am, so many other things besides. 

What’s the best thing about being a mother? Kisses, cuddles, hearing my son say “Mummy”.

And the worst? Early mornings and the ensuing demands… How can anyone have that much energy at 6am?

What has most surprised you? Well, I knew I was going to love my son, but this much?

If you could pass on one secret of motherhood, what would it be? Don't sweat the small stuff. 

What lessons has motherhood taught you? To appreciate my parents more and I have really finessed my takeaway ordering.

What mothers most inspire you? Boudicca, Mary Shelley, Kate Bush. They inspire me for vastly differing reasons, but are united in the fact that they embody my idea of feminism. 

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Discuss this story

It's so refreshing to hear mothers speak honestly about their experiences, and the challenges of balancing both the 'motherhood' identity and the 'individual' identity that so often gets left behind.I don 't think that women should feel guilty about wanting to have both, and I think a dose of selfishness can be a healthy thing, to a point. A healthy happy mother makes a healthy happy child. We always want to give our children the best of everything; that should include ourselves. I want my children to be secure in the love I give them, but I also want them to look back and be proud of what I have accomplished in life (besides making them!)

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