It's a fact of family life but, some siblings get along well and others not as well, the truth is that sibling rivalry is going to happen at one point or another. It's wonderful to hear fun and laughter from the other room, the garden or, their bedrooms when they are playing together nicely (and you quietly pat yourself on the back for giving you children the gift of siblings). But, we all know at some point no matter how nicely they may be playing arguments, fights or tears aren’t far behind and some form of intervention is going to be required.


Here we share 7 fast-acting ways to distinguish sibling spats

Encourage care and consideration
Our children’s relationships are likely to be the longest of their lives. The bonds between them will help shape their childhood and the people they will become.

Encourage turn-taking
This seems an easier concept for children to grasp than ‘sharing’ which they often equate to ‘giving up’ precious possessions. Once they’ve grasped the basics, turn-taking can also be used to negotiate issues of choice and to encourage listening skills.

Intervene effectively
Encourage children to sort out disputes between themselves. This helps them develop important skills of negotiation, compromise and assertion. Clearly if disputes reach boiling point, the first priority is to stop dangerous or threatening behaviour. In these instances, talking may have to come later.

Try not to take sides
Try not to jump to conclusions; it is generally fairer, and more effective in the long term, to let each child have their say.

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Talk about feelings
Children tend to act out their feelings less if they are able to express them effectively.

Consider your own needs
If you’re feeling stressed, you are more likely to snap at your children and they are much more likely to snap at each other. Occasionally prioritising your own needs will benefit everyone.

Praise positive behaviour
Let children know what behaviour you like, and why – and heap on that praise.

siblings book

{This article previously appeared in a printed issue of Junior Magazine}