Hi, it's me Joe.And this is me – not trying to perpetrate the walls of the Royal Palace, but in my own right royal gaffe. Ever since I watched the royal wedding of lovely young William and Kate, I have been somewhat enamoured of all things regal

?A: Royal tea (Queen's verdict: We are amused).Q: Why does the Queen wave her right hand?A: Because the left one's mine. (Joe verdict: I don't get it, but it made my sister laugh till she cried!)Knock, Knock. Who's there? Pencil. Pencil who? Pencil sharpener

hi, it's me, Joe.Getting in the mood for the forthcoming nuptials of Sir William and his fair sweet Maid Kate, I spent a busy day creating my own abode fit for a king. Not quite sure how it will withstand the elements, it being made of cardboard

Hi, it's me, JoeIt seems that where Joe goes, the worlds follows… I spent a lovely Sunday afternoon last weekend having a delicious lunch at the Royal Garden Hotel in Kensington, followed by a visit to watch The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe at a

scroll. (Sorry, your lordship, but you're gonna have to do better than that!)Joe's verdict (cue fanfare): Lego Star Wars!The score so far: Lego Star Wars 2 Playmobil 0Joe's wardrobe: Guardsman pyjamas by the Royal Collection (as worn by Princes William

Hi, it's me, Joe.Oh my, I can hardly contain my excitement as the big day approaches and our grand finale is upon us. Who will win my ultimate battle?Here's onto Day 23's contenders.In the Playmobil Knights corner, we have some right royal

Hi, it's me, Joe.Dunno 'bout you but I'm starting to feel decidedly festive, my seasonal happiness fuelled by a recent visit to Santa's Grotto at Selfridges. We started with a leisurely Sunday brunch at Frankie's (no sign of Dettori or MPW, though

Hi, it's me, Joe.Have you ever heard of the Lost City of Atlantis? Well, I've got news for you. It's alive and well, if a bit soggy, lurking in Legoland in deepest Royal Berkshire. I was one of the first submariners to hop on board the brand new

Hi, it's me, Joe.So I'm really starting to feel the festive chill. Gonna have a lazy day today – it's 3pm and I'm still in my PJs! They are pretty cosy, though, ain't they? Now, onto today's battle…In the Playmobil corner, we have a right royal

Hi, it's me, Joe.Duh guddy dun, duh guddy dun, duh guddy dun, duh guddy dun. Ooooh woooh. Ooooh woooh… I've got the theme tune from Dr Who running through my head. I've just been to the Dr Who Proms at the Royal Albert Hall, featuring all the music