When toddlers act like teens
Forget the 'Terrible Twos' the 'Threenager' is much worse! Here are 20 lighthearted traits that tell you your toddler is almost a teen…
Published: October 1, 2016 at 10:20 AM
Top twenty traits of teens-before-their-time
The urban dictionary defines “threenager” as a 3-year-old spouting attitude like a spoiled teenager. . have you spotted any of the signs?
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- Obsession with personal appearance untainted by a corresponding obsession with personal hygiene.
- Excessive litigiousness.
- Inability to distinguish the difference between "want" and "need".
- Secretiveness. Just what went on in that playgroup? At nursery? While you were at work? You'll never know - that's their territory.
- Inordinate acquisitiveness without any idea of how much things bloody well cost.
- Inability to answer a simple question at all, let alone politely.
- Prone to gross exaggeration, without understanding the meaning of 'always' and 'never'. Eg, "Do I always have to do it myself?" when asked to tidy up their mess. (Of course, they never tidy up their own mess)
- Inability to distinguish between "right" and "right for me".
- Unshakeable conviction that the whole world revolves around their wants and needs (same thing - see 3 above).
- Fear and loathing of vegetables.
- Adoption of inappropriate slang. Have you ever heard a six-year-old describing something as "cool"? It's vile.
- Constantly hungry, especially after they've just refused to eat their dinner. Often known to hang out around the fridge, peering inside and saying "Is there nothing to eat in here?"
- Adamant insistence on rights, without the accompanying acceptance of responsibilities.
- Totally undiscriminating acceptance of all popular culture with all its attendant merchandising. The more overpriced the better.
- Conviction that parents are wrong about just about everything.
- Disturbing belief that The Simpsons and South Park are children's programmes.
- Insistence on always having the final word even if it defies all logic.
- Non-comprehension of the importance of proper mealtimes but a fierce attachment to the fridge.
- Frequent claims to be bored.
- Staggering over-reactions to real or imagined slights, combined with fanatical hypochondria.
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{This article previously appeared in a printed issue of Junior Magazine}
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