The guilt-free guide to motherhood
Ten reasons not to feel guilty – you are doing a great parenting job!
Why is it that modern mothers sometimes seem to be determined to feel guilty about anything and everything. You work full-time? How can you possibly spend enough quality time with your children! You gave up your career to become a mother? How can you possibly be a positive role model for your daugther? You want the good news? Here's ten great commandments to make you feel better about your life as a parent.
1. Feeling guilty is a wasted emotion – it does more harm than good and it doesn’t help you children, so banish those negative feelings now.
2. Children in the developed world are living in the safest time ever known.
3. Children in the west are healthier than they have ever been before – childhood diseases that were once common and deadly have been all but eradicated.
4. Our food is cleaner and safer than it has ever been before
5. Numbers of children killed in car accidents have been greatly reduced since the introduction of compulsory wearing of seat belts.
6. Contrary to the headlines, US research show that less than one per cent of children actually suffer abuse or neglect in a childcare setting. (Note, it’s generally acknowledged that childcare provision in the UK is of a higher standard than in the US).
7. Numerous studies carried out over the past fifty years have shown that children do not suffer because their mother’s work. (What does have an impact is the quality of care a child receives while the mother is away)
8. Most psychologists agree that mothers who are able to make a life for themselves tend to be happy and to make their children happy. The self-fulfilment they get from a well-rounded life actually makes them more emotionally available for their children – in part because they are less needy
9. Author Judith Warner interviewed 150 mothers for her book and found those who seemed happiest and to have the best quality of life were the ones who did not push themselves or their children to be ‘winners’. They had managed to step outside the highly competitive parenting pressure cooker.
10. In most cases, what a mother instinctively feels is the right choice for her and her family, is the right one – regardless of what other families are opting for.
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