Today begins with the very lovely Il Gufo show, set on a French Rivera themed stage. The collection is packed full of minimalist tailoring, I pick a beautiful suit for my very handsome boyfriend Cosmo Van Der Miffohack.
At 12:00 sharp I am standing under Leonardo da Vinci’s painting The Annunciation at the Uffizi, dressed in a Monnalisa sundress and Little Marc Jacobs headscarf, matched with the largest Chanel shades I can find. I am meeting Emilio Largo from the Italian Secret Service – ‘Madam we have managed to investigate your dreadful maid and arch rival Candida Lovejoy from Mother Touch Magazine, next week in London it will be announced that you are to be axed from your Junior column. Candida Lovejoy and your maid will take over with immediate affect’. My world seems to cave in and a large tear falls from beneath my Chanel sunglasses . There is only one person who can help here and that is my dear god-mother Anna Summour from American Vague ‘ Darling, I too have had such experiences, Karen Rotten from French Vague has also been trying to take my job for years, I have the perfect plan for you’.
This afternoon, I am to present an award for best emerging childrenswear designer at Pitti Bimbo, the event is a lavish affair and everyone from the press is present, my editor at Junior, affectionately known as Captain Cod is sitting front row next to dreadful Maid Millie and arch rival Candida Lovejoy. The award goes to an amazing new label from Naples, who have created a girlswear collection from recycled designer clothes- a simply divine collection. As I present the award on stage, I have an important announcement to make ‘ I would like to thank my delightful Maid Millie for her services, she will be leaving me for retirement as of next week, she’s 70 you see. She will be replaced by her younger daughter Sharon-Tracey. As of next week, I will also be sadly leaving Junior Magazine, to work for the world’s most important fashion bible American Vague in New York, with my new column - Little Miss V. I will be replaced by the delightful Candida Lovejoy previously of Mother Touch Magazine’. The press go mad taking my picture, the applause is over-whelming and Captain Cod proceeds to slap Candida Lovejoy and Maid Millie across the face, storming out from the event.
Dear followers (Candida) and fans, this is my last column for Junior Magazine.
Over and Out.
Little Miss J XXXXXX