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'What does your Google history say about you?', by Kirsty McCabe

Where would we be without the Internet? Our weekly columnist considers the weird, the wonderful and the downright unexpected things that parents type straight into a search engine

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Kid on computer

Apparently, Google is offering its users the option of downloading their entire search history, which could make for some interesting and rather revealing insights. Especially as I use the internet like my personal reference guide, just like most parents do these days.

If I want to immediately know the answer to something or simply need to reassure myself that I and my children are perfectly normal, I 'Google' it... I have no idea how parents coped before!

Here are some of my more recent searches:

'It hurts when I kneel down'

Stop sniggering at the back. It really does hurt my left knee when I kneel down on a hard surface. If only I could avoid kneeling down but these small people tend to require my services at their level on a regular basis. Google reckons I have “housemaid’s knee”. I’ll see if my doctor agrees.

'Indoor skydiving'

This is the year of the big birthdays - with my husband turning 40 next week! He wanted to do something exciting but not too weather dependant (guess he doesn’t trust his personal forecaster). So, he’s going to fly in a big wind tunnel. Sorted.

'Children’s playhouse that I can stand in'

I know that kind of defeats the purpose, but I want to be able to at least stand inside a little bit. No point getting something too small seeing as I’m going to be the one tidying it up, and I can’t kneel down. I imagine we may end up painting a normal shed and adding some extra windows.

'Stomach bug terrible nappy rash'

This pretty much sums up last weekend when my youngest Logan was ill and nothing, not even the magic metanium, was helping. Even better was the fact that his brother Ethan then fell foul of the gastro bug, making for a whole week of fun. Thankfully, cream from the doctor cleared up the rash. In case you’re wondering.

'Something to cover lounge window but not net curtains'

I don’t want to put up nets but I do want a bit of privacy so I figured I’d ask the internet what else was out there. Number one choice is fancy wooden cafe style shutters. Though budgetry concerns may mean I have to opt for nice white voile panels (a nicer way to say net curtains).

'Wooden swing seat for adults'

Forget the kids, Mummy wants a nice wooden swing seat to sip wine on as the sun sets. But it has to have somewhere safe to sit down your drink just like the one in our local garden centre.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to type 'I am two years old T-shirt' in to Google, as I want one for Logan’s birthday next month, preferably one with dinosaurs on it. Or send me a tweet @KirstyMcCabe and @Juniormagazine, if you know where I can find one!

What do you find yourself Googling? Would you be up for sharing your Google history? Let us know by commenting below or join in the discussion on Twitter...

Kirsty McCabe writes her weekly column here on www.juniormagazine.co.uk. Follow us on Twitter: @juniormagazine to keep up with the latest news

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parenting, advice, mothers day, mothers, mum, pregnancy, children, kids, working parent, working mum, google, internet, web search, kirsty mccabe

Discuss this story

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Posted: 16/11/2017 at 09:16

Took me time to read all the comments, but I really enjoyed the article. It proved to be Very helpful to me and I am sure to all the commenters here! It’s always nice when you can not only be informed, but also entertained! find more

Posted: 01/04/2018 at 13:48

Very insightful and interesting to read, keep it up!
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Posted: 21/11/2018 at 22:12

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